You go, Glen Coco

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

                                                                             Shirt (Let's forgive Target the grammatical error.)

About five hot minutes after the fruit of our loins make their grand entrance into the world, the mom guilt begins. She's an ugly Betty, that one. Constantly toying with our emotions and sending us into full-fledged panic attacks about being the worst mother of all time. (Move over, Kim K.) Some days my guilt comes in waves as high as the dirty laundry pile in my closet. Other days I manage to arm wrestle it into a manageable, steady stream like my summertime sweat in this Texas heat. Dab here, wipe there, and pretend no one can smell me.

It can be about anything. Everything. And nothing.

My kid will only eat Ritz crackers. I use too many diapers. I don't buy the right brand. My kid needs to have more independent time. My kid should be around kids more. My kid still has eczema all over her ankles. My kid is bipolar about napping. Am I being selfish for wanting to run errands without her? Am I being too needy to want a Mother's Day Out? Maybe I should play with her instead of doing the dishes. Maybe I should do the dishes instead of playing with her. I work too little. I work too much...

In true Miley fashion, I can't stop. I won't stop.

In the muck of mom guilt, I'm very clearly not resting in Jesus. Instead of entrusting my child's needs to the God who created her and knows her better than I ever will, I'm relying on my own strength and foresight to give her everything she could possibly need. Like my pre-pregnancy bra, mama ain't gonna ever fill that cup. Yet still, I try.

It's an easy problem to diagnose, but not one so easily cured. And to be honest, I'm not sure what the real answer is. Maybe some better mommy blogger has the answer for me. But I'm still stuck in the trenches of learning that it's OK to wean my baby from nursing (and no, she isn't going to die), and it's OK to leave her in someone else's care (and no, she isn't going to die), and it's OK to sometimes feel like I'm going to pull all my hair out (and no, neither of us is going to die).

Moral of the story? I do a lot of things wrong. A lot, a lot. (She can send me the therapy bills later.) But maybe I also do some actual good for her, too. She's alive. She's happy. She's fed (most days, anyway). It could be worse. We mammas wag our fingers at ourselves all day long, maybe it's time we collectively cheered for ourselves, too. So tomorrow when you have the hankering to get down on yourself because you just plopped your kid in front of the TV so you could have a whoppin' ten minutes to get something done, why don't you give yourself a little pat on the back for making it this far in the parental colosseum and for loving your baby something fierce.

You go, Glen Coco. You go.


Brittany Rasmussen said...

I love this. I'm expecting my first baby in just about 8 weeks and I am already feeling the weight of guilt and second guessing decisions. It is all consuming at times! This is such a good reminder to take a deep breath and remember that God designed our babies with US in mind, perfectly suited to be their mamas and give them exactly what they need!

Ashley @ ThisUnscriptedLife said...

Emily is almost 2. She's my second and the mom guilt doesn't seem to get any easier. It just mutates lol. I have to stop and take a moment sometimes when I'm caught up in thinking about my messy house, my tired eyes, and wondering if I'm doing a good job with my kids. I have to say to myself, "God gave them to me. He chose me! I am doing a good job. No one can love them like I can." Then I let Emily eat that cookie she dropped on the floor because the battle of taking it and convincing her this new one is better is just too great =)

J and A said...

This post is perfect. And you are STUNNING. I want you hair. Tradesies?

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

You look gorgeous!

A Thousand Words said...

This is perfection. I struggled all weekend last weekend for buying myself an outfit. My husband quickly reminded me that I have dedicated my life our daughter and at the very least I deserve a new outfit. It's hard to remember that we are our own person but it is necessary! So glad you're back!

Susannah said...

<3 Yes to ALL of this!!! As a new mom this is just what I need to hear!

Fairy Princess Jord said...

We are so hard on ourselves aren't we? You're beautiful and you are doing a great job as a Mother, as a wife, and as a person (even though it's hard to give ourselves the credit we deserve).

Carmina Joy said...

I totally identify with this. Most of the time when I am being so hard on myself I realize it's because I am comparing myself to others- and most of the time, comparing my weaknesses to their strengths. I do it without even realizing I'm doing it. Big no no!

Also- about the excema thing, I don't know if you have heard about Perfectly Posh, but it's a fairly new company that has naturally based skin care products. Holy moly I am more than hooked. I became a consultant because I loved what the natural ingredients did for my skin and my family's skin (it's safe for babies!) We have a new product specifically for excema. If you want to give it a try, here's a link and you can learn more about it!
If you want samples I would love to send you some as well!
Just thought I'd throw that out there! One frazzled mama to another! :) Thanks for bringing your humor to the roller coaster of motherhood- you're awesome!