Overdue

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Hell hath no fury like a woman past her due date.
I'm officially an oversize Orca whale willing and ready to do whatever it takes to get this little nugget out of me. (That kinda sounded like I was talking about passing a kidney stone, didn't it?)

The last two days have consisted of long walks, pineapple, bouncing on a fitness orb (as G-money calls it), jumping jacks, and other (ahem) physical activities that have been said to help speed up the labor process. (This blog is all about over sharing, yes? Yes.)

Grahm says I'm not allowed to ground our baby while she's in utero, so I guess I can only wait till she decides to make her grand entrance. But while I'm as uncomfortable as walrus with a wedgie, I'm going to give you a day in the life of a woman past her due date via GIFs. You're welcomeI'm sorry.

Your due date arrives, and you're like this:
 
Ten minutes later:
You try to distract yourself:
 
But then the next day, you're like:
Your friends and family keep asking you when you're gonna pop, and you're like this: 
You go to your midwife, and she tells you to prepare yourself for this lasting another two weeks since you're not getting induced. And you're like:
The next few days you're like this:
and this:
 
and definitely this:
Your husband tries to tell you, "it'll all be over soon," but you're just like:
So if you need me, I'll be bouncing on my birthing ball, eating pineapple, or going on a long walk until I can successfully yell:
 
Please, Sawyer, let that be soon.

40 comments:

Erin said...

You killed me dead. Come on Sawyer!

Mason's Mama said...

Aww, I feel you! I had Mason 5 days after my due date. I am on edge waiting to hear about little Miss Sawyer’s debut! And can’t wait to see pictures. Love your gifs!! Too funny, as always. At least your sense of humor is still intact! haha

Kaysie said...

Drop the toolbox. This post. Nailed it.

Katie said...

This was hysterical. I hope Miss Sawyer gets here very very very soon!

Pamela said...

I don't have a child, but I am pretty sure you just NAILED this!! So sorry!! Fingers crossed!

P!nky said...

Too funny! Hope pretty girl makes her way soon!

Kim Matheson said...

Hah! EXACTLY this. Fingers crossed! :)

Brittany Fry said...

OMG I was totally LOL at my desk right now!! You have a way with words woman. I will be praying for Miss Roach to be here asap!!

Sarah @ Life, Love & Dinner said...

hahaha dead on, girl. My baby girl was 8 days overdue so I know the feeling. There are no words that comfort but somehow four months later, those 8 days seem like they went by in the blink of an eye now.

Kalen said...

haha! Love the Friends references. I can't believe you're overdue! I feel like yesterday you told us your eggo was preggo. I'm sure you don't feel that way at this point. Next time you and Graham try your..remedy...if he kisses you and your water breaks, make sure he says "I am GOOD!". Just so you can be just like the show :) Praying for ya!

Heather @ From Here to There said...

Oh my, you poor thing!! Uncomfortable, but still able to make me laugh during your blog post! I hope Baby Sawyer decides to come soon! Best of luck during all the birthing that will hopefully commence before 2 weeks!

Whitney Alison said...

Oh I can relate. Boomer was a week and a half late. Smh. People asking you 'so when's the baby coming?' is the WORST. Hang in there girl.

Allison said...

Hahahahah. How do you find all the best gifs?! These are awesome. Especially the Princess Bride and Downton reference. Spot on. Hang in there girly!!!

Mish Lovin' Life said...

hahaha I love GIFS more than a lot of things in this world. These were hilar. But, on a more serious note...I hope she comes soon! I can't even imagine the discomfort you're in :( Fingers crossed and positive thoughts being sent your way!!

xo

Kalyn V said...

Bless! I will be praying for little miss prods to make an appearance soon! And whatever you do, don't take caster oil!

The Lady Okie said...

I love GIFs. This is hilarious.

Jay T said...

OMG ... all of this seriously cracked me up!!! I hope she comes out soon! I'm religiously checking your Instagram and Twitter to see if you've headed to the hospital yet. Not stalking, just caring.

Kaity said...

OMG- that succession of GIFs was spot on. Praying she comes sooner than later!!!

thenancefamilia said...

Bahaha these gifs were awesome. Praying for patient hearts and trust in God's timing!

Lauren said...

hang in there, mama!! i truly believe that a pregnant woman past her due cannot be held legally responsible for anything she says or does. keep your head up, rest while you can, and know that the end is near. as my prenatal yoga instructor told me every class - you will not be the first woman to be prenant for-ever.

would your midwife sweep your membranes? it's a natural form of induction, but maybe that's a no-no in your (and her) book? just a thought. sending hugs and labor-inducing vibes!

Rorie said...

Ahwww, just a bit longer mama!! But you had me cracking up with the walrus and the wedgie!

Kelsey Eaton said...

hahaha gif queen!

Kayla MKOY said...

COME ON SAWYER! WE WANT TO MEET YOU!! :) hilarious!

Kayla MKOY said...
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Jenna Griffin said...

Hahahahahaha, I laughed so many times while reading this. I'll be praying your little one makes her way into this world asap!

-Danica- said...

Ha I am right there with ya! I'm 41 weeks today and just sitting here waiting. I'm SO uncomfortable and not sleeping at all but I would actually be sort of okay if people would just STOP ASKING ME IF I'VE HAD THE BABY. I do it to people all the time to other people, but holy freak I just want to go hibernate until he comes out.

Good luck! I hope she makes her debut soon :)

Ashley said...

Ohhhhh my gosh!!! YES. Everything about this. Charlie and Walker were both 4 days over and this was spot on. "Everything hurts and I'm dying" hahahhaha!!!! yes!!

Ashley Robyn said...

Best post of the month right here. I am laughing so hard right now and now my husband refuses to get near me for fear of this being me. haha YAY Sawyer! WE can't wait to meet you. Literally. CAN'T wait.

Brandy said...

Okay, so this is hilarious (especially the last one) but also not because I hate that you're miserable.
Hope little Miss Sawyer comes out soon.

Elizabeth Than said...

Hahaha! Oh dear, awesome post. Look on the bright side, she is worth the wait!

Jana Tolman said...

Baby Sawyer, come out and play!

This post made me chuckle, but only because I know exactly how all of that feels. :)

Whitney H said...

Yes. I have obviously never had a child, but this is amazing.

Denise said...

1 more week exactly until my due date. I'm not to "that" point yet, but I can see it getting there. I don't want to be off work for 3 weeks waiting for this guy to show up.

Nicole said...

Dang it! I haven't been in blog land a whole lot since my little guy was born, and I was hoping to log on and see that you had yours! I was only one day past my due date, but I was induced. Oh, and the drugs I wanted only worked for a little while before they stopped working, so I felt everything! Don't fear the pushing part-that's actually the great part! The contractions however...good luck :)

Amanda said...

yes yes and yes. THE BEST POST EVER. My thoughts exaaactly; my son was 4 days "overdue" but to be honest...we have the best child ever! Keep cooking that baby mama! She'll be here soon :)

Julie Joy said...

Oh my goodness.. I'm dying!!! Lol. I love the Willy Wonka reference :)

Susannah said...

Hahhaha. This is one of my favorite posts ever! I certainly hope she comes soon!

Summer said...

Hah. My little one showed up the day before my scheduled induction! Loved this post. It's hard to hear, but enjoy those last few days of being pregnant. My baby is only 3 weeks old, but I kindof miss having a little buddy inside of me all the time!

Tinamia said...

Love this!! There are a few things better than a pregnant Rachel Green

Alyx said...

Please tell me that you actually yelled that in the delivery room?! She's here now and beautiful! I definitely DON'T miss being hugely pregnant, that's for sure, but look! You survived and you got a cute snuggly baby out of it!