Men are like clockwork, completely and utterly predictable in their strange, grizzwaldo habits. Over a year ago, I wrote this post. My little self had been living with my new husband for six months, and I was just discovering all of the "marvels" of living with a man. That was only the beginning, let me tell you.
Since then, I've happened upon some more interesting habits from my main homeslice. Someday I will let him write a post about all of my weird quirks for revenge, but until then... let's examine.
1. Shaving. Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of the clean shaven face. No one likes to brush up against the bristle and thistle of unruly man hair. I just never knew this could be such a production until I got married. You'd think Chewbacca just got a buzz cut because my sinks are in complete disarray afterward.
2. Unresponsive texts. If I go more than three hours without responding to your text, I'm either dead or ignoring you. Grahm, however, could go all day without looking at his phone. At the end of his day, he'll see that his needy wife has texted/called at least 5 times. Does he then respond and turn his phone off of silent? Oh no. Sheeshkabobs. I'm tempted to "lose" his phone for him and pocket the $80 bucks we pay a month. Waste, I tell ya.
3. Poop Time. I know I covered this in my last post. However, this habit has and will always astound me. Yeah, yeah. It's necessary. But last time I checked, dropping it like it's hot only requires two maybe three minutes. TOPS. Boys love to drag that process out. Why? I'll never know. It's not a long ordeal, guys.
Now Grahm and I have come a long way since our first two weeks of marriage when we lived in this 400 sq. ft. apartment and had to have poop music to drown out the splitter splatter any time either of us needed to get down to business. ("Push It," anyone?)
Now we have three royal thrones for his majesty to choose from. Without fail, he always picks my guest bath. Can't ya just drop your drawers upstairs in the comfort of our own bathroom? It's also amazing the timing of these epic adventures. Somehow boys always have the urge to purge after the porcelain pots have been scrubbed to perfection, or when we need them to do something. "Yeah, babe... just give me a couple minutes and I'll be right there."
4. Oblivion. This one is my favorite. We've been in our house almost a year. I know this place like the crook of my elbow fat. But Grahm? It's like the kid just moved in yesterday. Earlier this week we had stovetop pizza, and he asked where the oven-mitts are... Same place they've always been, dear. The drawer right next to the oven. Sigh. He'd be literally lost without me, folks.
Good thing our men are cute, right?