say my name, say my name

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Naming a child is hard like trying to cram and jam my ever-growing hips into pants these days. I've already told you how much more difficult it is with our last name (a new "can't do with Roach" name that went on the list is Lively), but today I want to talk about how naming a child is hard because of people. (Yes, I'll take some cheese with my wine.)

I'm not sure where the disconnect happens.
Somewhere between voicing your child's name to your friends and family, the recipient of the precious secret suddenly transforms into a backwards, manner-less ogre who has more opinions shooting from his buns than he clearly knows what to do with. (Ahem, don't share them). Joe Schmo's lips flap in the breeze 100 miles a minute like you actually gave two cents about his thoughts. (News flash: you don't care.)

Another thing that people are concerned about is the meaning of names. Guys, Jena Marie means Bitter Little Bird. (Great job, Mom and Dad.) So no, the meaning of her name is probably at the bottom of my "things I'm concerned with" list, which is a good thing since Baby Girl's meaning is almost as awful as mine. Grahm, on the other hand, means "a good home," which I really love. (He thoroughly enjoyed rubbing that in his bitter little bird's face, which I did not love.)
via
It doesn't make sense, really. Tell a woman who's more hormonal than a teenage boy and is continuously on the brink of tears or murder that you have a problem with the name she's carefully selected for the tiny person growing inside of her... you're just asking for a world of hurtin'. I mean, have you seen what my pelvis can do? (Really y'all, I'm only looking out for you here.)

Now, no one has told me they don't like Baby Girl's name to my face. (Smart.) But a few of my mom's friends have had a reaction or two... Granted, Mom shouldn't have told me about them, but it still hurt my small fries just hearing about it.

I'm kicking myself in the crotch biscuits because Grahm and I originally said we weren't going to spill the baby naming beans for exactly this reason. Unfortunately, I'm about as good at keeping a secret as my grandma was for my surprise 16th birthday party. (Spoiler alert: it wasn't a surprise.) And now, I'm regretting it because I happen to love Baby Girl's name that her daddy picked out. We just need to find the perfect middle name, and we'll be set!

So guys, the next time your friend is brave enough to tell you what she plans on naming her sweet baby, smile. Tell her the baby name is absolutely perfect... then go home and bash it to your husband like a NORMAL person.

39 comments:

Mikell Gordon said...

This is a great post. I HATE it when people give their two cents on names. I was talking to a friend of mine who is pregnant, and told her a few of the names I love and she was like, "WHOA don't like THAT ONE!" ..which happens to be my favorite name. I'm sure when we have kids they'll all get teased for the ridiculous names we pick. Oh well. haha I'm sure the name you picked is darling!

Lauren Gardner said...

Haha! That's so true. It really only matters if you guys like it. Everyone else can deal with it. I am dying to hear it though! I LOVE hearing names, especially if they are a bit unique. I am sure that whatever name you chose will be perfect.

Erin LFF said...

I will never understand people who seem to think their opinion is always welcome/needed. Especially with baby names! I'm sure the name you picked out ROCKS! :)

Laura Nelson said...

SERIOUSLY. okay, it's super difficult because your child will be living with this name FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. we are picking out baby names right now, and we've told a couple people our options, and they pull faces at all of them. it's horrible! like, hey thanks, i really liked that name for my child, but now i'm definitely going to change it because you're a big fat jerk head who can't keep their opinion to themselves. awesome.

Mason's Mama said...

I am so with you there! Nathan and I have had a baby girls name picked out for years and years. One family member made it well known that they didn't like our name we picked out. I'm glad Mason was a boy so we didn't have to deal with that. But, if our second child is a girl...then tough cookie! They're gonna have to deal!

I can't wait to hear your baby girls name. I know it's going to be absolutely perfect!!!

Autumn Jibben said...

When we named our little girl M'Alee Paige. .... people flipped. ... is is it Maaaalee or Maylee or Muh Awleee oh yeah it was fun. .but we have never met another M'Alee. ... and for the record it is pronounced M' Alee like Emily. .but with more umph and seperation in the 2 words..Em A lee. We still catch flack and she is going to be 8 in a few days! You will love her and her name thats all that matters...

Erin said...

I really just got excited because I thought you were going to tell us the name. Boo. Can't wait to finally hear it!

Olivia Irwin said...

My name means a sea of bitterness! i feel ya girl ;) And I'm sure whatever name you guys came up with is beautiful!

Sarah said...

SHUT UP, Mama's friends. "Ima" is a perfectly acceptable first name.

Kim Matheson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kim Matheson said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry that happened. That is pretty much the reason we didn't reveal The Little Man's name until he was born. It's like labour stories - people tell you all of the negative connotations they can possibly associate with your intended name, just like they tell you their terrible, horrible, no good, very bad labour stories. Not. Okay.

(On that note, and this is going to read as weird, but if, later in your pregnancy, you want/need to "hear" a positive birth story, let me know. I had a really great experience very recently. I am halfway through writing it for a blog post, but I have no idea if/when I'll ever get that finished. ;) )

Jenna said...

Lurve this post! And EVERYONE hates my girl name that I have picked... It has been my "girl name" since I was VERY young... Pipa Anne! My In-Laws cringe when I say it! Haha! Just choose what is good for you guys and don't worry about anyone else!!

Katie said...

This is soo true!!! I was just ranting about this exact same thing the other day! No one likes the names that my husband and I have picked for our (yet to be conceived) children. and you know what? Oh well!!

put a bow on it [kaitlyn] said...

I swear I could have written this post! People, if you don't have anything nice to say, wait a bit and go text someone else about it later. If you don't like it, fine, you don't have to name your child that name! My family has already given me flack for my girl name, but I'm still using it because I just love it so much. And I'll probably get stuck with 4 boys.

Danielle Carroll said...

So true!! I am going through the same thing right now. We have our girls name picked out already (even though we don't know the sex of the baby yet) and my mother-in-law informed me that it was a terrible name. Yep, she said it was terrible. I almost punched her in the face, but thankfully (and luckily for her) I refrained. Needless to say, I won't be sharing any other baby name news with her or anyone else throughout the rest of my pregnancy!

Jay T said...

People are MEAN. Hi it's not their kid, their opinion doesn't matter! My sister is ready to pop at any moment (she was due yesterday) and only she and her husband know their baby girl's name. It's torture not knowing but it's also really fun, and it's going to make the moment we all meet her so cool!! I can't wait to hear what you're naming her!

PS I love the random phrases you use.
"...it still hurt my small fries..."
"crotch biscuit"
"tinkle taco"
please never stop using these!!!

Sami said...

You tease! I want the nameeeeee. I promise I'll tell you it's the prettiest one ever!

Mckenzie Jean said...

ughhh, I hear you girl.
(well not really, because i'm not with child (that i know of) and I've never been with child.) But when my mom told her mother that she was going to name me "Mckenzie" my grandma's response was "good grief, she'll never learn how to spell that."

thanks, nanna, ye with little faith.

k8te said...

ah that stinks that you know about the negative reactions. don't let them get you down! when we have kids we are keeping the name a secret for that reason also though. because who can make a face at a name when the baby is right there in front of them?! (hopefully no one!)

Alexa said...

1. This was such a tease. I mean, name tag and all? Way to let a sister down! ;)

2. I absolute HATE when people share their unwanted opinions on baby names! Hate hate hate and I can't believe someone did it to y'all. So sorry you had to deal with that. I'm sure baby girl's name is just perfect and I can't wait to find out with the rest of Bloglandia!

Rachel said...

There is so much that goes into picking out a name! I think it would be a good idea to keep the name a secret till the birth certificate is signed--if you could! I told my husband that we'll give our children English names and he said that's fine, his family will probably just make up Spanish names to call them by. I'm okay with that, as long as I get the name I choose for their legal name!

Nicole said...

We are gonna be "those" people who don't tell people the baby name. We have the middle name picked out after my late grandfather, but the first name will be under wraps until the little guy is born. For a couple reasons-we don't care to hear their opinion of their name, and we don't want them to steal it!

Kelsey Eaton said...

Oh now I am curious! I am sure it is wonderful whatever it is!

Courtney Carlton said...

Oh sister. We got so much feedback from all ends of the spectrum about our baby's name, too - I can totally relate with where you're at! The lesson we learned is one you seemed to have nailed down as well: it doesn't matter what others think. And I hope you continue to share the joy that is your baby's name - because what an exciting, joyful time!! If you guys do choose to keep it a secret, I hope it's because that is important to you and Grahm, and not because you're worried about other people's nosy snotty little noses. Baby girl is beautiful and so is her name! :)

The Lady Okie said...

I have definitely thought people named their kids some weird stuff, but I've never said it to their face. Obviously you should be free to name your kid whatever you want without fear of snide comments. Also that picture is AWESOME.

Bri Lamkin said...

Yeah. I am definitely one that believes in, "don't tell anyone the name until the baby is born." I feel like, once the name is attached to an actual out of the womb human, people tend to shut up. Also I feel like when you say the name to others before the baby is born it starts to change and shape into something else that isn't yours and the baby's. I don't know if that makes sense. Excited for you two.

Allison said...

Aw I can't wait to hear what you name her! This weekend my husband's cousin shared the name of their baby with his parents and it went terribly wrong. They had them guess first by giving them the first initial (bad idea) and the first thing that came out of his mom's mouth after hearing the first initial was "It better not be (insert the name they chose here)." They are so upset. So sad. It's like KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT PEOPLE!

Emilie Bordeleau-Laroche said...

I can't wait to hear it! I'm sure it's absolutely lovely. :)

Noelle said...

Our name issue came in with family names because if you pick a name from one side of the family and not the other, well then you basically just started world war 3!!! I am certain that whatever little girl's name is that it is absolutely perfect!

Elle Vee said...

Ah yes, the judgy judgy naming time.

Don't worry yourself too much.. It's your bubba not theirs.

People will always their opinions, unfortunately often they are going to be negative, even if it's not required!

I"m sure it's a lovely name.

Sarah @ Life, Love & Dinner said...

I'm so with you on this! Our baby is due in less than a week and we not only haven't shared anything but we are not decided on a name yet because so many people are giving their opinions without us even saying anything. Totally sucks.

Emily Dextraze said...

Name picking has to be tough, especially with your last name.
but speaking of Roaches. I just finished a book with a police officer name Officer Roach, thought of you!

Whitney M. @ The Married Me said...

I have mentioned one name to my mother in the past and she shot me down. Therefore she sealed her fate and she doesn't know it just yet. She is way too opinionated.

Bailey@Lost&Found said...

oh man. for this very reason we are keeping our baby name a secret because we will DEFINITELY get lots and lots of crap about it. How i've managed to keep it a secret is something i'll never know- actually, it's probably because I know dear fiance wouldn't speak to me the duration of our pregnancy if he found out I spilled the beans.

Basically, all that matters is that you love it. It's your baby, no one elses.

Katie said...

Oh my goodness...could not agree with you more. We are not sharing our name for this exact reason. I do not want to hear the opinions. Why would people think saying anything different than, oh I love that name, is ok?

Lins - Domesticated Working Woman said...

We are keeping our baby boy's name a secret for this very reason! I bet it is beautiful.

Melissa said...

AMEN! Not only do people judge the name if you tell thems, but they will also judge you for not keeping it a secret! I'm sorry, but sharing the name and giving her her own identity feels like the natural step! If you don't want to share, that's fine too, but don't judge me because my husband and I were able to agree on a name and want to share it with the world! We're not hurting anyone! (end rant)

Lauren said...

this is so hard :( i'm sorry. no one (other than my older sister... biatch) voiced discontent for our final list of names. for example, we liked the name Max and she flatly stated, "Max is a dog's name." thaaaaanks.

i'm sure that your hubby has chosen the most perfect name for your baby. Ryan chose Camden's name and something about the father choosing just seems special to me (wah, wah, i'm a sap).

the saddest part, is that this is the first of MANY times when people will give your their opinion about your baby and/or how you are raising her :( at the end of the day, YOU love her name - and that's what matters. at the end of the day - YOU know what is best for her and your family.

keep charging, mama!! xoxo

Katie said...

whatever name you think is right for your little girl, IS the right name for her. don't be discouraged by people who disagree. it is not their choice but yours and whatever name you give her will be perfect for her.