Why Husbands Shouldn't Travel

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Let's face it. I think Grahm is pretty adorable.

But when he first told me he would be in California for the week, I was a little excited. Two words: shopping stinkin' frenzy (okay, that's three). He was gone for a whoppin' ten hours before I grabbed my friend Tiffany and headed to the mall. I needed (yes, needed) clothes for our upcoming cruise. (Side note: I bought a C-cup bikini for the first time in this 32 A-er's life. Pregnancy win?)

Besides the ill-advised shopping trip, there really isn't anything I like about Grahm being out of town. I mean there are certain things girls (as fabulous as we are) just NEED boys to do...

1. Kills Bugs
 
Nothing makes me more jump out of my panties faster than bugs (oh and bubble baths). I hate them. I hate them all. They're sneaky and crunchy, and I'm convinced are going to kill me at any given moment. Normally, I yell and point and tell Grahm "Eww! Kill it, kill it!" But when he's away, I'm left to my own timid devices.
I walk toward it pretending like I have ovaries of steel. I've made up my mind to kill...
 
...until I find out it can fly. 
 
Then, of course, I run away and barricade myself in my room.


2. Check Out the Noises
When I'm alone in a big house, every noise makes me want to pee my pants (a very easy thing for this pregnant gal).
 
Normally, I poke Grahm with my big toe and tell him to go check it out. (Obviously, if it's a murderer he stands a better chance of survival.)
When he's gone, I just pray the intruder can't see me inconspicuously hidden under my bulletproof blankets. (Darn you, baby bump, you're totally gonna blow my cover.)
3. Use all the Tools
Without Grahm, I'm about as handy as a foot. I have an upholstering project I could be working on in his absence, but I can't figure out how to work our screwdriver. (That sounds a lot more pathetic than it is... I think. It's one of those fancy twisty ones.)
At first I was gonna concur that idiotic tool...
 
But then...

And after ten minutes of listening to Grahm explain his rocket science screwdriver...

4. Snuggle Panda
When I first think about having the bed to myself, I'm thrilled. Blankets to myself. Room to stretch my legs. No one to dutch oven me.
But then I remember...
So there you have it. We gals need our men. So hurry home, Grahmsterdoodle. I'm apparently incompetent without you.

22 comments:

Kalyn V said...

That cheerleader gif is perfect! I totally agree... before he leaves I always try to play it cool, like I'll be able to do so many activities while he's gone. Then the getting ready for bed routine made for two doesn't work so well when there's just one.

Kayla Peveler said...

OMG every gif in here was perfect. I love the cheerleader one, and the last one the most ;) Grahm hurry homeeee!!

whit | Black Little Button blog said...

Awe I hope the time goes by quick, not sharing the bed the husband is the worst. It's the one thing I am having the hardest time getting used to, for the next months to a possible year.
-wHiT

Jamie K. said...

awe this is cute! I feel the same way but my hubby has to do a 8 week midnight shift every 16 weeks and I HATE IT!!! It's really not fun having them gone at night!

Rachel S said...

Oh so perfect. I love having time to my self but then when Chris is gone...it is all sad pancakes faces and I miss him butt!

emi said...

haha you are the funniest person ever. i love all of these and relate since chase was just gone! XOXO

Lauren said...

BAHAHAHAH. But what about goodnight kisses?!! I die.

PS. I would totally dig having the bed to myself too ;)

Karla said...

Oh my gosh. I loved this. I feel the exact same way whenever my husband is away!! Love the "what about goodnight kisses?" gif!! So perfect!

Margaret said...

hahah!! This is so perfect. Seriously- when my husband is out of town, EVERY noise scares me. Let's not mention that I live in an apartment building which a locked entrance...on the 5th floor which I would assume stops people from climbing in my window.

Amy said...

Ah this post...so wonderful. :) and hilarious.
When my brother is home i make him kill bugs.
Sometimes that takes me screaming for a solid 5 minutes and annoying the tar out of him until he gets up but hey it works!
I hate bugs.
YUCK.

Erin LFF said...

This is SO me. Especially the bed one. I get all cozy and comfy, sprawled out, using every pillow we ownn...... and then bam, I'm lonely! haha

Becky said...

Hahahaha this is awesome! I love all the gifs! I went on vacation with Peter last week and it was SO nice to have him around all the time. Now I haven't seen him in 4 days thanks to work boooo :(

Jay T said...

I am so impressed by all these gifs!!! And you are seriously so funny, I love it! But I need to know where in CA Grahm went and also if he goes again are you going with him!?

Amy said...

I'm the traveller in our fam (which thank goodness has been cut in more than half in the last 6 months)... being away is really hard... but I know FOR A FACT that being home alone would be much much much worse.

I'm already dreading the possibility of my man going away on a camping trip in September.

Mason's Mama said...

Haha! That’s definitely in the plus column of pregnancy!! This post is too funny!!

Kelsey Eaton said...

you are the gif master. enough said.

emily barlocker scott said...

I can definitely feel your excitement buying a c cup bra for the first time!
That was one of the highlights of my pregnancy.

Elle Vee said...

As always hilarious.

Nice work with the gifs:)

x

Allison said...

Hahaha this is awesome. I hate the dutch oven. Nooooo! But maybe after a while you'd start to miss that too? Haha.

Ashley B. said...

Oh what I'd give for my husbands trips to be only a week! lol He just started traveling and is gone for over 3 weeks =/. You're right, it isn't easy!

Amanda said...

hahaha! I love the GIFs. Excellent choices.

Katie said...

haha I don't even have a husband or a boyfriend but I loved this post. the gifs made it hilarious. also, bugs are gross.