Hide A... what?

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Y'all know the theme of Recently Roached by now, ya? Three words: Feel sorry for Grahm. Okay, that's four. This is a daily theme in our marriage, but some days truly triumph others.

Like last night.

Headed to the park for a six-mile run, got out of my truck while talking to mom on the phone... and bam. Locked my keys in the car. This was a problem (your fault, mom). The other problems involved freezing my little Jenas off, and feeling like my pea-size bladder would burst with any sudden movement. (Obviously I can't tinkle in the park bathrooms for fear of getting "taken out back," if you know what I mean.)

Frantically, I called Grahm. He thought I was ridiculous for not remembering there's a Hide A Key under the truck. Perfect, problem solved. Except it wasn't.

Hide a key should change its name to "Wife Camo" cause no woman will ever find it. Next time I'm on a diet, hide the bacon burgers in this thing. I swear, I'd never find it. It's a freaking black hole under there. I felt like I was searching for Atlantis, or a non-plastic section of Joan Rivers's face.

"It's the black box, babe. Passenger side. Back tire. It's black. It's a box. Just look."
"I'm looooooking! All I see are car parts. It's dusty under here! Come save meeeee."

Did I mention that I had to be on my back on dirty, cold cement the entire time? It was all one gray, filthy blur. Gave me a new appreciation for mechanics and prostitutes.

Since Grahm works 30 minutes away, I had to sit. And wait. And wait. I was desperately trying not to look like the little girl about to pee in her Nike shorts, or the crazy woman about to rob all of the cars.

Eventually, he got there. (He had to leave work early and everything.) And 2.5 seconds later, I had the keys to the truck.

...I know you're staring at his cute little bunzippitydodas now.

Now excuse me while I slap a "20% Off Sale" sticker on that badmamajamma so that next time, I'll be all over that Hide A Key like rat on Cheetos.


Kayla Peveler said...

Hahaha this absolutely cracked me up. I love that he had to leave work to come help you, so cute! And dang girl -- a 6 mile run? Get it!!

Rachael said...

Your posts never fail to crack me up. :) One question, if you hadn't locked yourself out, where exactly were you planning to pee? Were you going to run into the woods and pop a squat? Lol. This part had me rolling: "Gave me a new appreciate for mechanics and prostitutes." And your comment about Grahm's bunzippitydodas totally made me look! Glad he came to your rescue!

Ashley said...

Hahah at least he looks happy to have "rescued" you!! We dont have a hide a key and as a matter of fact we only have one key for our SUV - we should probably get another one incase the unevitable happens!

Love and Such said...

haha okay he's the best.
I would have never been able to find it... and I sure am glad you found a new appreciation for mechanics and hookers along the way!

yay for hide a keys!

Shauna said...

What a great husband you have to come save the day. You are blessed!

Kelsey Eaton said...

Hahaha I'd be lying if I said I had never made my husband leave work early to help me when I locked myself out. :)

Married...with a Pup said...

Haha this I sucha hilarious story! But no worries I would be the exact same way. I once call AAA bc I couldn't get the keys out of the ignition. Come to find out I didn't put the car in park yet. Haha. To my defense I was driving my husbands car and I normally drive a standard and don't have to worry about putting anything in park!

put a bow on it [kaitlyn] said...

I would have done the same thing! Why hide a key so well that you can't ever find it?!

Ashley Barnhill said...

HAHAHAHA! We don't do this "hide a key" thing so we would be screwed!

Lauren said...

This is so funny! He sure looks happy to be there rescuing you!

KatyK said...

Hide a key???? I need one of these...for everything. Car, home, debit card....clearly I'm forgetful. But you two are adorable.

Karla said...

Every single one of your posts leave me with tears in my eyes!! (from laughing like a damn fool of course!)
I love it! What an awesome story. Love the brutal honesty! =D

Tamara said...

He's such a good man. For serious, if that's not love I don't know what is. My husband is too cheap to buy one of those key boxes so he just gets a piece of baling wire and configures a key on it underneath my backside [that's what she said]. It's way frustrating to get off....not that I know or anything.

Amy said...

hahah putting a clearance sticker on it would allow me to find it in .0000012 of a second! :) hah
Poor Grahm, what an awesome dude he is.

Yesi said...

You are seriously one of my favorite bloggers! I am obsessed!

Maxine said...

He's so handsome!!!! What a catch! and thanks for a little "lesson" today... I need to know these things.

Jana said...

Seriously, Jena, EVERY post you write makes me laugh! I love the way you describe all of the goings on in your life. And I seriously need to get one of those hide-a-key things. Except for the house key. My husband constantly locks us out of our basement apartment and the only way to get in is to climb into the window well and bust in through the baby's window. A hide-a-key would be so much easier!

Erin said...

Haha oh Jesus I have done the same thing with my parents hide a key. I mean it's kept in the garage full of junk how in the hell do you spot that little thing?

P.S. I hope you don't have any stalkers reading this or you might have a stolen car

Annabelle said...

I am prone to locking my keys in my car! I don't even have a hide a key either! I need to fo sho!

Leslie @ Body Won't Break said...

you're just making sure that grahm can continue with his husbandly duties - taking care of you. he should be thanking you. ;)

Amie Willoughby said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Fabulous!!!!!


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Ashley from The Kitchen-Sink Chronicles said...

Why do I feel like this is something that would happen to me?! LOL.

Allison said...

Sounds like something I would do...glad Grahm was there to save the day!! And seriously, you need a book for all your amazing one liners. :)

Amanda said...

I locked my keys in my car once when I went for a run. It was 7:30 am on a SATURDAY, and I was 30 minutes away from our apartment. AND I had locked my cell phone in the car too, so I had to borrow a stranger's phone and crazy call him from an unknown number until he woke up and answered. The things they do for us, right?

Emily said...

i mean, these are the things men are here for, right?! yes

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Shay said...

Your hubs and mine would have a lot to talk about! So funny!

Katie said...

Hide-a-key, shmide-a-key. Why would we get married if our hubby's couldn't come in to save the day?? Just saying. :)

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I love the way you tell stories!! I would have done the same thing. They should make those things pink or something, right?

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