My mind whirls with so many thoughts: sin, darkness, children's screams, my teacher friends, unopened Christmas presents, empty desks, confused siblings, mournful parents, lostness, brokenness, hurt. It's incomprehensible.
Here I am safe and sound in Texas, and yet I find myself angry with God. How did You let this happen? Why are innocent people, young children no less, being killed? Where were you, God? Why didn't you stop him?
Some will blame a lack of/too much gun control, insufficient mental health care, poor school security, and, of course, a psychotic gunman with emotional instability. These may be true. But they do not still our anxious, questioning hearts. We still have hurt; we still have questions; we still want to know why.
We live in a broken, sinful world filled with people just like Adam Lanza, people just like me. Yes, he did the most heinous crime imaginable. Yes, he will forever be remembered as a mass murderer who stole the lives of so many young people.
But friends, without Jesus, we are all just as lost, crazy, and depraved as Adam. We are all just as capable of such despicable crimes. Our God does not love us because we haven't shot someone. He doesn't love us because we're good people. He love us in spite of our sinful selves. Jesus is our only hope, the only Savior who can turn our wayward, ugly hearts toward Him. The only one who can heal the ache in our hearts.
There are no words of comfort any of us can offer those families today. I wish there were. I wish we could take away the pain for them. We will never know why such a tragic event happened today, but we can trust that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We can trust that He is with those families, that He didn't abandon those children in the school, that He has a purpose in suffering no matter how absurd that seems to us.
This day, as my friend so clearly put it, makes me long for heaven--to be free from this broken world.