Grooming your Groom

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

We all do it. We all need it. Some of us more than others... It's called damage control. Maintenance. Tweaking the canvas God gave us, so we won't be lookin' all Wolverine for the rest of the world.

Now when I say groomin' your man, I don't exactly mean helping him scrub-a-dub in the tub. There is a line, people. I'm talking about tweezers and the pure joy of ripping unnecessary hair from your spouse's face.

Marriage, as we all know, is a wonderful display of acceptance and love, but let's be real... the "Just as I am" mentality doesn't exactly float my boat when it comes to bodily hair, especially when it's staring me in the face. Call me rude, but I think I'm doing the world a favor by preventing my husband from becoming the next Anthony Davis. (Google it.)

Men don't seem to really be bothered by their unruly hairs. They don't care if there's a clear division between left and right or if those dangling hairs above their eyeballs blur into one scraggily, horrifying line.

I can't really blame them. I guess if you're already accustomed to a white, hairy manthigh, manbrows are just a drop in the Amazonian bucket.

Any time I want to pluck the unyielding hairs out of my sweet husband's forehead, I have to beg him. Sometimes he'll let me, sometimes he'll run away. Usually, the conversation will go something like this:

Me: "Hey, do you wanna do something really fun?"
G: "Always."
Me: "OK. Well, I'm talking a grand ol' time."
G: "Babe, I already agreed."
Me: "OK close your eyes. I have to grab something. I'll be right back..."
G: "No, babe! You are not plucking my eyebrows. No. No. No. Do not get the tweezers."
Me: "Please, babe! You know I love to tweeze!"
G: "Back away from me woman. I said no."
Me: "Really, I'm trying to help! It'll make you look pretty!"
G: ".... Um, yeah. Pass."

Moral of the story: If you don't already, you should feel sorry for Grahm.

21 comments:

Courtney Carlton said...

Omg. Eyebrow plucking. Our favorite game. So glad you guys are able to relate! We have a love/hate relationship with it... mostly hate on Bo's part, love on mine. Haha!

Kaity said...

My hubby still won't let me near his eyebrows, but weirly enough he's okay with a pluckage of the occasional stray back hair...

Amy K said...

It has been awhile since my husband asked me to pluck his eye brows. I loved this post!

Much Love

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Jesse has a few sparse hairs on his back/shoulders. I tackle him down and threaten to fart on him if he doesn't let me take care of those errant hairs.

Tanya said...

Hahahaha! This is awesome, I can so relate. I've only been able to pluck my husbands unibrow once in the last 3 years. Even though I ask everytime I notice it.

Melissa Knott said...

HA HA!!! I get some kind of sick satisfaction from doing this to my poor husband too. Those babies need to be tamed... I mean, you DO have two.

CMae said...

I got the same reaction from my husband. He squeals like a girl. I laugh in his face considering that I pluck my own eye brows at least 2-3 times a day (I always find new hairs to pluck lol) Men....sigh

Nicole - Craft My Soul said...

I don't feel sorry for him at all! I love to tweeze my hubs too! He's pretty hairy so he doesn't mind! Except when I try and tweeze the greys on his chin!

Pamela said...

LOL that is way too funny! My mom does this to my dad all the time and he squeals like a baby! :)

- Pam

Veronica Lee Burns said...

Oh my goodness this is hilarious! AND I totally identify! I don't know how it happened but I somehow got my husband to get his eyebrows waxed for our wedding.

katie michelle said...

haha "...um, yeah. Pass." Sounds familiar! And ohhh boy, that Anthony Davis. He's almost more famous for his brows than for his basketball-ness.

Dreams Do Come True said...

my fiance wont let me pluck his eyebrows. They don't really need it because his eyebrows are perfect. I wish I was lucky like that and didn't have to worry with mine.


I follow your blog and would love for you to follow me

Dreams Do Come True

http://happilyeverafter-tiffany.blogspot.com/

Shauna said...

So funny! Sounds like me & my husband ;)
Just found your blog and I like.
Made myself a new follower too.

Shauna
www.shaunawyrick.com

Becca said...

Hahaha amazing! I've tried to pluck Lee's and for a while he acted all bravado and macho, until I got the first one and he realised how painful it was. That showed him! xxx

Allie said...

Haha it sounds like my house! Guys are not brave when it comes to tweezers!

the lovebirds said...

Ha ha... How ironic, I just pinned my hubby down on the couch the other night and forced him to let me pluck those eyebrows of his. Love this post! Xo

Madeline Grace said...

Poor Grahm! lol My man wont let me anywhere near his eyebrows with tweezers! He makes sure he doesn't have a unibrow but outside of that if it involves tweezers he wants nothing to do with it!

Amy said...

Love this!
I once made my {now ex} boyfriend do a "sleep over" night with me...meaning we watched a movie, i made him wear a mask, and i plucked his eyebrows. BAHAH. i have pictures to prove it.
:)

Kristina from Everything Changes said...

I love this. And the Roach family. My husband wants to know how Graham could let this happen. Haha. I would like to know if you're teaching any classes on how to make it happen. ;)

Jenna said...

Ahahaha!! This made me laugh out loud! I ALWAYS want to get a hold of my husbands eyebrows and he NEVER lets me! And to answer your question, YES my color actually came out pretty easy! I was pretty surprised! And I lurvve your name!! ;) I am now following you! Have a fabulous weekend!

Kelsey Eaton said...

This story is all too familiar to me ;)