Look out, real world

Friday, September 7, 2012

It's day three of wearing the same comfy jammies. Day three of skipping showers. Eh, who needs 'em? Day (let's no go there) of calling a rat's nest a hairdo. Attractive doesn't even begin to cover it. (Seriously, I think I could submit this top bun at the science fair.) I'm avoiding mirrors, make-up, and deodorant (you're welcome, Grahm)... and anything else that makes me feel a little more humane than this lazy woman I've become the past few days.

Technically, I'm sick. It feels like someone stuffed two giant grapes up my nose and is beating the middle of my not-so-recently-plucked eyebrows with a tiny hammer. Just call me the Smelly Green Grump-tastic Giant.

But even if I was feeling hunky-dorey, I'd still be acting like the helpless blob-wonder who is sleeping till noon, You-tubing baby videos, reading too many political articles, and is eating cereal out of the box because I'm too lazy to go buy milk. (Or am I too considerate? If you think about it, I'm actually doing the world a favor by burying my stink-nasty bod in my bed.)

 (This should be in a Great Grains commercial. I'm not technically making out with the box... but I may or may not be wearing pants.) 

Before you get all judgmental and tell me I'm a giant pile of public waste (half-true), let me just tell you that Monday... I enter the real world with my first legit post-college job! In just three days, I'll be strapping on my big-girl panties, wearing heels every day, waking up early, and doing actual work from 8-5. I'll be working for Pearson as a copy editor --- and huzzah! it's something I actually studied in school.

So yes, I smell. My apartment is a giant mess. My ginormous laundry pile is resembling Mt. Rushmore (it grew a face, and it's seriously judging me). I've skipped my marathon training... and movement altogether. And did I mention I smell?

But Monday, that all changes. The real world won't even know how to handle all of this... As excited as I am for my new job, who knows when I'll have the amazing chance to be this lazy ever again? So excuse me, I've got... well, I've got nothing to do. :)

18 comments:

Kacey Batterton said...

Congratulations! Feel better soon. Eew.

Katie said...

congrats on the new job! I hope you feel better so you can really enjoy being as lazy as possible before your job starts!!

Andrea @ Love is... said...

Congrats to you & I hope you feel better soon! I've got a cold too & it pretty much sucks!

Kelly { MessyDirtyHair } said...

feel better love! i love days when i dont get out of my pjs & dont take a shower haha being lazy is the best! butttt congrats on the new job! how fun! happy friday! XO

PS. Come & Enter my Current Giveaway!

Emily Dextraze said...

haha we all have our days!! I thank you for your honesty, cuz not everyone would be so honest! best of luck at your new job!!!

Katie said...

I know exactly how you feel, I have been some NASTY kind of sick this week and have been avoiding mirrors like its my job! And speaking of jobs, a big congrats to you on yours!!

Madeline Grace said...

Congrats on getting the job but boo for feeling sick! I hope you feel better ASAP!

Carlie said...

I hope you are feeling better! Congrats on the job! That is exciting to be doing something you studied and like! Good luck!

Liz Brown said...

Wow, we are in pretty much the same boat. Monday, I too will be starting my first degree-using full-time big-girl job. And today I am waking up wearing the same PJs I have worn for the past, oh, 4 or 5 days ...

Kristen Danielle said...

Congrats girl!!! How awesome!

Angie said...

I hate that you feel bad but I LOVE that your getting to be lazy!
Enjoy it & feel better soon

Sara said...

Congratulations on the job! You're definitely entitled to have a lazy day (or three) before the big job starts, and you're even more entitled since you're sick! I still have those days, and my only excuse is "because I deserve it!" :-)

New follower! I absolutely love your blog! Love your writing/style! :-)

Leia Glover said...

You start your new job TODAY! Super exciting, hope you have the best day... like, um... EVER!

Melissa Knott said...

You make me laugh. Good luck today at your big girl job!!

Amy said...

Congratulations on the big girl job!!! :) :) SUPER exciting. I've been at my "big girl job" for about 2 years now...it can be quite intimidating at first!
And hey, i'm all for being lazy, smelly, messy for a few days...sometimes that is exactly what we need!

Tamara said...

Ahhhh!! Big Girl Job!! And in what you studied? You are like a freaking unicorn. I mean, how is that possible? [I work in Biology and I graduated with a Business degree..I mean, wtf?]
I know you're day is going well and I'm sending groovy awesome thoughts your way!!

Lauren said...

Hahahaha I died reading this post! Hilarious.

Second Hand Rose said...

Great to hear about the new job, I hope it's going well! Hope you feel better soon, if it makes you feel any better you're still hilarious! XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.co.uk