Screw you, Adam and Eve. You ruined everything.
If you two hadn't gotten all greedy-McStevey over a juicy apple (Really? A chocolate eclair I would have understood), we would all be following our true destinies of frolicking around in our naked, pasty splendor. No one would even be able to judge the excess elbow fat I've accrued lately. Talk about a good, birthday-suit time.
Forget laundry. Forget folding. Forget hangers. Forget encrypted, highly complex instructions. Wash warm for fifteen seconds. Then cold. Then lukewarm. Then boiling hot. Tumble low or high or gentle. Better yet, don't tumble. It's all so complicated. I fail to get it right, just about every time.
The kid keeps losing clothes, left and right. And let me tell you, that has quite the impact on his two- jeans-and-six-T-shirts wardrobe. I've shrunk, soiled, permanently stained with detergent (How in the crapola is that possible?) more clothes than I can count. (Technically, I can count them. Four. Five if you include our no longer Queen-size sheets.)
I typically avoid things I'm not amazing at (basically everything). But this is a double whammy. I not only suck at laundry, I hate it. All that confusion, washing, folding, putting away. Repeat repeat repeat. It's never stinkin' ending. Because I have an ungodly amount of clothes, I could probably last a solid two months before actually needing to do laundry. (Did you do the math? That's like 62 pairs of panties.)
I'm pretty good at putting crap in the washer, but I usually forget it's in there. A stench as ripe as my dad's armpit will slowly grow over the next few days. Mildew has infested our "clean" clothes, so I've got to wash them again... and then I forget, again. It's a never-ending cycle of terribleness. Gain is really gaining from my lack of domesticity.
If all of Grahm's clothes were cute and tiny and looked like this, I would have no problem doing laundry. (That is completely false. However, I'd have a better chance at not shrinking teeny onesies.) But man oh man, this is one of the (many) wifely duties absolutely loathe.