Lazy Wife

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

You know how they say that a woman goes immediately downhill after she says "I do"?  Well, my friends, I fear the worst has happened. I'm not exactly gaining weight like a fat kid in a bakery (only a matter of time), but I am... getting lazy.

I work from home so I usually look like this from dawn to dusk:
(That took a lot of ovaries to share. Talk about a whole lot of attractiveness coming your way.)

Typically, if we aren't going going to be seen by the general public, I have a hard time making myself presentable. I mean it takes a lot to get ready in the morning. Shower. Blow dry. Straightener. Make up. Make up. Make up. It's not exactly an easy five minute slap-some-DO-on-the-BO process that guys do (Good heavens, that would be nice).

So why would I exert all that energy if Grahm is the only person I'm going to see all day? I mean he did marry me. He's kinda obligated to stick around, no matter what kinds of hideousness my face goes through. 

Poor men. We deceive them into marrying us by always wearing cute clothes, fixing our hair, and disguising our faces. Little do they know, the hoodie-wearing, skipping-showers-way-too-frequently troll man living inside of us comes out post-wedding. Maybe this untamed beast is making up for lost time. After all, we have been masking slob city for like 23 years. It's time we had a break and let loose, right? Especially since we've already tricked a poor sucker into believing we're actually good looking. 

Grahm is a doll, and of course, would never say anything about his ogre-looking, hygiene-questionable wife. But lately, I've been feeling a little guilty about my laziness. 

I think I need to change my attitude from "Rats-nest hair, don't care. No one's going to see me today" to "My hard-working husband is about to come home and see his hot (not so much) mess of a wife. Maybe I should attempt looking like a normal person for his sake."
Me thinks this is a good idea. (This is me stroking the beard I just shaved off of my face.)

28 comments:

The Bluths said...

hahahahahaha.

i seriously laughed the whole way through this.

okay a) this is all WAY too true.

b) you are GORGEOUS, even without make up and hair-undone.

c) you are an incredible writer!

d) i think we should be friends.

i LOVE this!!!!!

Brekke said...

Made me laugh out loud! Maybe because that's me too! lol!

Chelsea L said...

Ha, you're funny :) I feel the same way!

Michelle said...

Hahahah!! wow that is so true and I love the shaved off beard comment! A friend of mine's son asked his mom (during dinner with some other ladies) if women could have beards...lol and the lady next to her immediately touched her chin and then we all had a good laugh. her kid has seen a man (my husband as a matter of fact) with long hair and a beard which is why he asked...haha sweet kid.

Mrs. Robinson said...

haha...I'm pretty bad about this. The pictures are hilarious. And, I LOVE your new blog layout! =)

Nicole @My Thrafty Life said...

When I read this blog, I felt like you were typing the words from my own mouth. Thanks for making me feel not so alone. LOL

Anna said...

It happens when you get comfortable in your relationship before marriage too! :( Oh well. It happens. Gotta get my butt moving again! :)
-Anna
asweetsouthernmess.blogspot.com

marie said...

I bet he doesn't care. My husband actually prefers me with no makeup and my hair away from my face. He says he can see my beautiful face better when there is no makeup or hair around, awwwwww.

Ashley said...

Hahahahaha you have got to be the funniest blogger I've ever known! So funny! Btw I LOVE your header with the roach. You kill me.

Melissa Knott said...

I work from home too. If I have meetings all day, I schedule at least one hour off so I can cleanse my little 'ol self. It's a tough routine to get into, but I've been doing it for 3 years now, I am an old pro. Hubby appreciates a stink-less smooch when he arrives home so I s'pose that's the least I can do.

 Curly J said...

Hahah... awesome post! I do feel the same though lol... once we said "I do" (we're also young btw, both 23), I got really lazy! It didn't help that I was waiting for work, and I'm still technically "on call"... but to help the matter, I recently started running (and hubby has been joining me) which makes me feel like I do more than sit around the house and watch Heartland all day! :p (p.s. the C25K program is really great!)

Blayne Royse said...

I think that this is a great idea :)

lolopete said...

oh, how i love this blog. you make me laugh. i am with ya on being a lazy wife. my feeling is - it makes me look that much better when i do put forth some effort (hair done, face on, cute outfit) :)

miki said...

ha ha ha ha that is hilarious! I always feel guilty, because I get all dressed up for work, make up and hair done, but the second I get home I get into pj's and remove all my make up, so the rest of the world sees the done up miki, but poor jared only sees slime ball!

Erin said...

LOL- You are too funny. I alawys look super nice when I come home from work, but I instantly want to throw yoga pants and a hoody one so J only sees me looking SMOKING (ha) for like 2 minutes. At least my butt looks good in yoga pants, even if my face doesn't look so great ;)

Kerrie said...

Bahaha! I love this post. So true. For me as well. I at least try to wear jeans while he's around instead of pj pants.. most of the time ;)

Kylie said...

I love this!
I have my days (probably most days during the week) when I wear yoga pants and such. I've been working out a lot lately, though. Can't exercise in jeans! ;)

I feel bad some days that my husband comes home to this scary ogre. :/ Wah wah wahhh. Especially in the winter. I'm atrocious.

The Presutti's said...

This is so true. I am the same exact way, why go through all the work if you aren't planning on going on. I am trying to do better like you are. I don't want my husband to think I don't do anything all day :)

taylor

thepresuttis.blogspot.com

Megan {Tales of an HBS Wife} said...

haha this all made me laugh because it's so true!!

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

Haha this is hilarious. I am really bad at this too- as soon as I get home from work it's into sweats I go :)

Second Hand Rose said...

Haha so funny and so true! I think even if we are not married we do that, most of the time my boyfriend sees me with no make up and a hoodie on! But as long as he still thinks I look 'gorgeous' that's ok I suppose! But if our bf walked around looking like a slob or came over and hadn't done his hair we would be a bit miffed! Like you said it does only take them 5 minutes though! XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.com/

lori said...

this is SO funny. and SO true. i need to do the same!

Susan said...

Jena, you are adorable! For the record, if I woke up looking like you do sans make-up, I wouldn't bother either!

Lauren said...

hahaha! I totally love that you can make me laugh no matter what my mood is!

Meg said...

HAHAHA!!! "Stroking the beard I just shaved off..." Girl, please!

Love your blog!! New follower!

Meg ;)

MessyDirtyHair said...

i wish i worked at home so i could look like thaqt everyday...serisouly! its the best haha so relaxing haha! but you look beautiful all made up as well! im your newest follower! TGIF

xx Kelly

www.MessyDirtyHair.com

Lauren said...

Hahahaa you always crack me up!!! I feel you lol! I hate how I look w/o makeup but hubby thinks I look fine? He must be blind or just super in-love... who knows!

xo

PS hoodies, soffe shorts and yoga pants are where it's at!

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