becoming a Texan/the worst day ever

Friday, March 30, 2012

I normally forecast my days based on my hair. So yesterday when my golden locks curled with ridiculous ease (miracle of miracles), I knew it was going to be a fabulous day. Wrong. My usual spot-on foreshadowing was completely off.

For all of you contemplating moving to another state... Just don't. Save yourself the trouble and stay where you are. Yesterday I knew I had to get Dink (my car) registered. I had been putting it off because I'm incredibly busy lazy. I also needed to get a new driver's license (hence why I curled my hair). After agonizing what shirt I wanted to wear (important life decision), I set out. The sun was shining. I was chipper.

My first sign of trouble was the line. Good heavens, it was out the door spilling into the parking lot. How could I have picked the worst day to get a license? Everyone and their small (LOUD) child in San Antonio was there. Despite the hours of waiting ahead of me (the only lines I like are the ones at Six Flags), I trudged on. After TWO hours of waiting, I finally made it to the counter.

"What are you here for?" a woman with an unruly unibrow snarled.
"Hi there! How are you? I'm here because I just moved, and I need a TX license." Smile, smile, smile. "License, Social Security, birth certificate, car registration." 
(Do you really need ALL that?)
"Oh I haven't registered yet. That's next on my list though!"
She rolled her eyes. "Come back after you have."

Two hours, wasted. How hard would that have been to put on the website? Good gravy. I set off to get Dink officially inspected (a stupid TX thing). An hour later, I had the paperwork I needed. I went to the tax office to get Dink his new shiny plate. An hour later and one zillion games of Draw Something later, I made it to the front of the ridiculous line.

"What are you here for?"
"Hi there! I'm here to register my car to Texas."
"I need your insurance, license, and car title."
"Oooo. I don't have the title. My dad does." I'm about to bust into tears...
"Sorry. I can't..."
"Wait, I have this bill of sale! It shows that I'm the owner." I put on my best schmoozy face.

Somehow I convinced him that was good enough... that or the poor kid didn't want to deal with an emotional basket case. Big, bad crocodile tears were definitely threatening to spill all over his desk.

"Okay. That will be $187." Holy balls, that's expensive.
I handed him a check, thankful at least half of this mess was over.
"Oh... sorry ma'am. We don't take temporary checks."
THE WORLD IS AGAINST ME.
"There's an ATM across the street though."

After a few minutes, I came back carrying a wad of cash. I half expected him to hand me a bag of pot for the kind of dough I just plopped on his desk. With my new (ugly) license plate, I was off to go BACK to the line of death for a new driver's license.

Two more hours of screaming babies and people cutting in line... Seriously! Just because you're fat, have a baby, or you're old doesn't mean you don't have to wait in line like the rest of us. Excuse me for not being 500 pounds with a baby on my hip (rant).   ...I finally made it to the counter. This time, I had everything. An hour later, I took this horrific picture. (I was very tempted to ask for a redo.) My hair was no longer fabulous because I had been waiting for HOURS. Wahh.

Apparently I'll get my real license in a month. Until I have to keep track of this flimsy paper that won't fit in my wallet. Thanks, Texas. My journey to becoming a Texan started at 10 and ended at 530. Movers beware. It ain't no picnic.

26 comments:

Shaylynn... I BLAHWG. said...

OMG. I hate the dmv, and your photo is fine.

I look like I have special needs, you think I'm joking. I would never. My friends and family all die when they see mine. And the best part? I always explain to whoever asks for my id why its so ugly after they give a double take.

two hours is horrible.

anna.montana said...

Funny! I also just had a pretty entertaining/disturbing DMV experience. I think the pic looks great though, and now you have an awesome story to tell if anyone asks! Love your blog :)
http://findyourviewpoint.blogspot.com/

Carlie said...

oh my gosh! I have to do that here soon, and am dreading it! Texas and it's big cities always have huge lines!

recipeforabeautifullife said...

All that and they didn't even have the decency to give you an actual license??? What kind of BS is that??

Mrs. Robinson said...

Awww...we had almost the exact same experience except we were in SC, and add paying property taxes to the mix. Joyful day, I tell ya.

Elle said...

Ugh. I am so sorry about your terrible day. I had almost an identical one when I was getting my new TN license and new car registration. Miserable. My wallet was then stolen a month later and I had to go back to that terrible line for another license. There has got to be a better way.

On the bright side-- Happy Weekend!

Phil and Darby Hawley said...

sorry to hear about that horrible day! I remember when I moved to TX I had a very similar day; it sucks, but at least it's over!!!

Lauren said...

You poor thing. At least it's all behind you now!! :)

miki said...

Geeze! Every DLD sucks! That's the truth, when I got married getting my new license was a nightmare! At least now its friday and no stress anymore:)

smk053078 said...

Girl, I am so sorry, but I can promise you one thing....once you get settled in, you are going to love it here!! Welcome to Texas! ;)
Because Shanna Said So

Mary Rachel said...

You have big Texas hair- it's cute. And Texas will get better, I promise. :-)

Alana Christine said...

I think it's mandatory that you have an attitude and hate people to work at tag agencies.
Nevertheless, I'm glad you were able to get that ugly plate and license.
And I think your picture looks great!!

Second Hand Rose said...

God poor you! You look a whole lot better then a lot of us do in our driving license photos though! You had to do so much stuff for that and I hate when people think just because they have a baby etc they can push in! Excuse me having curled your hair and wanting it to look good in your photo is far more important!! XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.co.uk/

Amira said...

You're only 5'1?! You teeny, tiny thing you! Also, reading this post made me SOOOO cranky for you. Good for you for holding it together, I would have started sobbing.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

love love the Texans giving you encouragement!

lori said...

ohh i am so sorry. that is such a pain. and those people are so rude cutting in line. i think your picture is good, though!!

Nicole - Craft My Soul said...

What a horrid DMV journey! Ugh! its the worst! I plan to stay inside my cali bubble forever so I don't have to deal with real world stuff like that. hahaha

Nicole @My Thrafty Life said...

I completely hate ever having to step foot in a DMV.You pretty much have to set aside a whole day for it. And it never fails that someone's pain in the ass kid is bouncing a ball or making snow angels in the middle of the dirty gross floor. I was so glad I had the option to renew my license online this year.

The Presutti's said...

That sounds like incredibly rough day. I would have been so irritated :) You are beautiful girl.

Jax said...

I think that picture is very nice! I totally here you about the weather not cooperating with the hair. You think mother nature would understand being a woman and all! lol

Cheyla Marie said...

Ahh I hate the DMV! I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

Nagehan said...

Since I moved to NyC I haven't changed my license. I think I will get a Philly license when I move there ;)

That Brunette One said...

aw big hugs! dont worry your photo is NOT hideous you look stunning! x

Tom said...

Luckily in England we can do all this shit on the internet and it gets posted to our address. Thank god technology.

Cranky and Difficult said...

This is the best blog ever. Thank you for being so funny and real.

stephanie said...

bahahha sorry but I have been in the hell that is a Texas DMV. brutal. sorry chick!