The Tossers

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I'm exactly like my dad.

We both have an unhealthy desire to throw things away. You've heard of the show, Hoarders? Well, we're the polar opposite of that. The Tossers. The "Oh my gosh, I still have that?"or "I will never use this again" and the classic, "This is simply takin' up valuable space."

It's pretty liberating, really.
Want to declutter your life? Throw it away. Chances are you won't remember you even had it and if you DO remember... you can always buy NEW and BETTER stuff to replace it. And let's face it, new (to you) is always better for everyone (except maybe your husband's wallet).

Sometimes I get a little overzealous with my love for throwing away. I'm especially good at chunking OTHER people's stuff. You don't need this, this, and definitely not that...

If nothing else, marriage is a great lesson in dealing with other people's junk.

G: "I can't live without my dirty soccer cleats that I've had for twelve years. What if I need them?" 
Me: "I have literally never seen you wear that. Thank God."
G:"This camping equipment that I've never used will absolutely come in handy one day. You just never know!"
Me: "It's ugly. Let's get rid of it."

Yesterday, I spent over thirteen hours unpacking boxes and organizing. (A very interesting thing to do with one slightly OCD person and one ADD person.) At one point Grahm had to make a Wal-mart run because I needed more hangers for my closet. While he was gone, I had an overwhelming urge to throw away sooo many of his clothes, ya know, the GrungeCity tees that I'll never actually let him wear (it's for his own good). And his underwear... Oh my word, his underwear. What's with men and their inability to buy a new pair? They wear them to til they're entirely disintegrating.

Exhibit A: (These I DID throw away.)

Marriage also makes you learn about yo'self.

While I was contemplating chunking most of my husband's wardrobe, I had a realization about myself. I had no room to judge Grahm on keeping shirts until they're entirely discolored and frayed or wanting to wear his holey underwear. Because as much I love to throw stuff away, my one exception to this rule is my own wardrobe. I almost never get rid of my clothes. I've been this size since I was sixth grade (it's not cute to have the buns and boobs of a 12-year-old when you're 22), so my clothes are an accruement of intense labor, love, and time.

After the seventh box of clothes I unpacked yesterday, I realized I may have a slight problem... and maybe I should cut Grahm some slack. Thank the Lord, I don't treat everything like I do my clothes. Can you imagine if I had kept literally everything I owned since middle school? Kaaahh-razzzy.
Now that I have this walk-in closet, I'm wondering how in the world I ever lived without it. Those are all my shoes on the rack. Grahm takes up approximately 1/16th of this entire space; I had to put some of my clothes (summer time!) away just so he could fit in here, too.  See? I have a problem.


Jeanna said...

YAY for walk in closets! I can do cartwheels in mine practically! haha best thing in the world! Congrats on your new {bigger} place!! :)

Nagehan said...

When I got a divorce, I realized I never threw anything away either! Once I moved into my own apartment, I got rid of about 15 bags of clothing and a big trash bag of shoes I'll never miss again. Liberating.

Gig-ee said...

Keith would say those undies still have another couple of years left in them. I say, toss them already! Keith has had several panic attacks lately since I've been tossing and making trips to Goodwill. And it's MY stuff! We are just like the two of you. Nice balance.

Christina said...

I made Brandon take the guest closet and I definitely fill the walk-in in our bedroom. Marriage is all about compromise, right?

Carrie said...

I just threw away some of my boyfriends old holy underwear, I did it when he was at work and he hasn't noticed yet. ;) Otherwise he will keep them forever, because "the waistband is still good"
<3 Carrie

A party and A HALF said...

That pair of underwear is too funny!
Whenever my husband goes "underway" or on "deployment" I raid his drawers and throw out "holy clothes".
I am also (trying) to make a tee-shirt quilt from his tee-shirts he never wears but didn't want to throw out.
We NEEEEED a walk in closet. Being married to a quido does have downsides- fighting over closet space.

Mary Rachel said...

I throw everything away too! Andrew gets so frustrated because often the things I throw away end up being mportant papers, warranties, etc. that we actually need. I'm getting better, but it's a hard habit to break!

Lozzz123 said...

Hahah I definitely know where you're coming from. There are plenty of clothes Husband has that I think should never see the light of day (and oh the underwear!!!) but at the same time I still rarely throw out my own clothes. I also take up the whole closet in our room - Husband is stuck with a little wardrobe in our computer room!

Liesl said...

Walk in closets are the best! I love ours, and The Boyfriend is lucky to occupy about 1/5th of it.

I rarely get rid of clothes, but I do throw away other things around the house with the greatest of ease!

P.S I can totally relate to the crazy boyfriend/husband underwear... unfortunately!

Kaitlyn said...

I am exactly the same. I love to throw things away to make room for newer and better things. Except my wardrobe. My closet seems to be an entrance-only zone. I need to get rid of clothes, my husband has to use the closet in the guest room and I still don't have room for all of mine! Still, I never have anything to wear, right?!

Bea Beautiful said...

Haha my husband is the same way about old boxers. He'll wear them until they're in tatters. I even buy him new boxers and he keeps wearing the old ones. I have to sneak and throw them away a pair at a time.

Steph said...

I like to get rid of things, but sometimes it takes me a while to let some things go. I get all sentimental about certain things. But, like you, I have been the same size since 6th grade (and I totally agree with the boob/butt thing!) and certain outfits remind me of certain events or times in my life. I'm big on memories...but I do like the feeling of decluttering!

lilmoomoo said...


OMG. that picture.

love it.

Jamie Leigh said...

I am also a tosser!! I love de-cluttering and make room for new more useful things!!

Amy said...

That closet is absolutely amazing. AMAZING. I live alone in an apartment with a walk-in and it's just packed to the brim. There are shirts I haven't worn in YEARS but I just can't get rid of them. I haven't had the luck of being the same size for years so I actually have like 20 pairs of jeans... ranging in all different sizes, but I can't toss them. I am bound and determined to get back in the smallest pair.

As for the underwear, true story. My ex-boyfriend had so many pairs of really old frayed disintegrating pairs of underwear that it was just ridiculous. I would buy him new pairs and he still wouldn't toss the old ones.

Kathy B. said...

Absolutely love this post! I am beyond envious of your walk in wardrobe, how A-List does that look?! Finding those boxers though, perhaps not!

Very funny post, love how we both had similar blogging ideas over the weekend! Great minds think alike I do feel! ;)


Sarah said...

My dad is just like that! He is perpetually throwing things away, but unfortunately it's a rather common occurence in the Hayes household for dad to throw something away and 24 hours later mom to go, "Where is [blank]?" "Oh, I threw that away." "But I needed that for [blank]!" "Oh. Sorry." Yep. It happens A. LOT.

And I understand the whole keeping tons of clothes thing. I recently went through all my stuff that I've been keeping since I was a kid and threw a bunch of it out but then it came to the clothes, even though I haven't worn some of those shirts or skirts in literally YEARS...I couldn't quite let them go.

Also, I tagged you in a tag post thing. You should check it out and pass it on. :)

Karla said...

hahah oh my I thought my crazy guy was the only one that kept underwear with some EXTRA ventilation! lol!

Tom said...

Please please throw my garage full of junk away! lol. I think allot of hoarders would love your trait!

Mimi said...

i tend to keep stuff i know deep inside i'll never use -- i'm the "i might need this one day" type of person. i've gotten a bit better at throwing stuff away though. i was recently able to throw away my notes from high school (i graduated in 2009), haha okay that's really bad. i think i need your help in tossing some of my stuff! ;)

<3, Mimi

Amy said...

Haha love it!! I am the exact same way - I want to donate and throw away everything that I haven't used or know that I will never use or wear. And yes - marriage defintely teaches you about other people's stuff! And it is probably a good thing you threw those underwear away! Wow! haha - it must bne a guy thing. I bought Brian new underwear for Christmas! :)

Kendra said...

haha! That underwear seriously made me laugh! My husband is the SAME WAY! Ew, so gross. And his socks! he never buys new socks.