Every year about this time, I go into full-on hunger mode -- aka I act like a fenzied woman pregnant with octuplets having all kinds of crazy cravings. (I may or may not have eaten cream cheese straight outta its package yesterday.) It's like I have no control, like my body is having an out of body experience (that's confusing). It does what it wants, munching on what it wills -- and let's just say, it wills A LOT.
My body does this because it knows New Year's is coming. The dreaded day I feel the need to do something about how much Dr Pepper I guzzle, how many pints of ice cream I devour, yada yada. You know, like everyone else on planet earth.
I guess my body feels the need to stock up on all the deliciousness it's about to be deprived of. After all, these thunder thighs of mine need the carbs. My body is sneaky smart.
Something needs to be done, people.
I'm eating more than Grahm is at dinner time -- which isn't entirely unusual. But over cheddar bacon chicken and asparagus (it's true, your pee WILL smell) yesterday, I had this inexplicable urge to wharf the entire meal down before he got home from work -- and claim I didn't make anything so we needed to eat out so I could have, ya know, ANOTHER meal.
Last night I couldn't sleep (There's not much scarier than a hungry insomniac) so I raided the kitchen. It's impossible to sneak around our one bedroom apt, (I mean the kitchen is literally 5 feet from our bed) but my hunger pains trumped sleeping husband's need for quiet. It didn't matter that it was 3 a.m. My tummy knows no time -- she only knows that that biscuit looks real gooood.
We don't keep snack food around (like chips or candy or anything yummy) so I won't be munching on it all the time (note the irony) -- but after a few minutes of digging around, I found some things I could eat. I had two bowls of cereal and some ice cream that I forgot we had. And leftover cheesecake icing. And some bread. Okay, lots of bread.
What little self control I have has officially been tossed out the window since it's December. (And Pinterest, your delicious Christmas ideas are not helping). So if you see me and I look like ate a small child, I probably did. But don't worry. New Year's is coming. This fat thing is only temporary, I hope?