Sleeping

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm a selfish sleeper.

Actually I'm pretty selfish in most of my activities, but especially when it comes to catching some Zzzs. I need the cubbies more than he does. I need enough room for a person five times my size. I need to be able to manically wiggle my legs around whenever I please. I need a warm leg to put my fat, cold toes on. (My little sister's biggest pet peeve from all the times we shared a bed.) I usually take the good pillow (which is actually Grahm's). I will stay awake reading or clicking away on the computer, even if someone else (definitely not me) has work the next day. And I have a terrible (unique) morning smell that envelopes my entire body, all the way from my sweaty feet to my top-of-the-morning-to-you, stankapotamus breath. (My siblings have pointed this out for years. Nothing makes you reevaluate your morning self like the beginning months of marriage.)

See? Selfish.
To my credit, I've had 22 years to milk this sleeping self-absorption. It'll take a little bit to break these bad habits ... although my glorious morning smell is probably here to stay.

Grahm on a road trip. I told you, cute! 
This reality hit me late last night when Grahm was snoozing. (Men are like babies, they get so much cuter when they're asleep! Refer to photo if you need further convincing.)

When we finished catching up on Parenthood (are Jasmine and Crosby really back together?!), Grahm was pretty zonked. I got to sleep in much (much much) later than he did, so I wasn't exactly ready to crash. I decided to stay up and figure out Christmas gifts... and by that I mean, I was on Pinterest for a solid two hours. Productivity at its finest, my friends.

When I finally decided to turn in, I had this intense urge to snuggle. This pretty much happens every night, and Grahm is good at indulging my irrational need to treat him like a fluffy body pillow. Last
night, however, he was asleep... so snuggling was out of the question.

Or was it?

Grahm was facing the opposite wall, completely turned on his side and in the middle of a REM cycle. (Side note: I watched an episode of Regis and Kelly once about sleeping positions and what that says about your relationship. Grahm and I sleep on our sides, butts touching, facing opposite sides of the room. I don't remember a lot about the show, but basically, that was the WORST sign for your marriage.
Uh oh. We're doomed.)

I slowly inched my way toward him until I was close enough to hear him dreaming. (There was no escaping this surprise cuddle attack.) I took his shoulder and turned him over on his back, so I could snuggle up to him at a better angle. (It's all about me, people.) I even put his right arm around me. He was startled awake, but quickly fell back asleep. After five minutes, I rolled back over to my side. I can't sleep while cuddling, I just like to cuddle before I sleep.

This morning I woke up and I had all of the cubbies, and Grahm appeared to be falling off the bed.
So the Cliff Note's version: I snuggle sneak-attacked my already sleeping husband. I got him to drowsily cuddle for five minutes before rolling over to my respective side of the bed because I can't be touched when I'm trying to sleep. And I took all the room and blankets by morning.

Poor Grahm.
It's a wonder he doesn't want to sleep on the couch every night. Oh wait, we don't have one. Ha!

18 comments:

Leslie @ Body Won't Break said...

We sleep the same way. Only we generally have two dogs between us. Our marriage is doomed as well.

Maybe can all go to therapy together?

Sar said...

Cuddle sneak attacks are AWESOME. Also cool: pinterest. What's your account? I'll totally follow you!

Kim said...

^ What Sar said. Both the cuddle sneak attacks and Pinterest!

Nagehan said...

Sometimes, J and I sleep facing away from one another because sometimes when you're sleeping that deeply you don't sit there and think...hey we're not cuddling :)

Sara Downing said...

This reminds me so much of myself. I definetely need the cuddles before, then don't touch me or ill punch you while I try to sleep. Of course unless I wake up in the night and can't go back to sleep the gotta wake up the giant cuddle pillow again. :) Now, we have two kids sleeping in between us! Oh well!

Legally Lovely said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog and the well-wishes for my finals! : )

So happy to have found your blog - this post made me smile! I am the same way; I can never sleep while snuggling, but love to right before I fall asleep. Also, your blog header picture is GORGEOUS.

 Curly J said...

Hubby and I sleep the same way too! lol

Recently Roached said...

Sar and Kim, my name is JenaRoach on Pinterest. :)

Christina said...

I'm a pretty selfish sleeper too. I make Brandon warm up my side of the bed before I get in it, my butt needs it's own space in the bed and he serves as my personal heater most nights. cute post!

Ti said...

Oh my goodness. First of all, growing up I was the comforter hogger, need space to flail my limbs at my whim, would apparently beat up my bed mates. So far in marriage, I have learned I have outgrown that. *phew* Until two night's ago. Upon waking my husband informed me that not only did I hog the comforter, I whacked him in the face a couple of times. Oops. In other news, thanks for your blog comment! I am glad you like it. I like YOU! :)

Evelien said...

Haha we sleep the same way!!

But I have to say it got better after our third month of marriage! Right now we both sleep great. My husband used to be a really bad sleeper, it was a real big issue. But now? Sleeping better than ever!

Mary Rachel said...

Don't worry, Andrew didn't sleep through the night the first SIX MONTHS we were married. It gets better, I promise. :-)

Liesl said...

Oh my gosh, we are like the same person! I do the EXACT same thing. It's all about me... and he knows it! ;-)

Allie said...

This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks :)

Jamie said...

Hahaha omg we are twins. I swear I wrote this myself. No I'm not married, but my boyfriend and I stay over and each other's houses quite a bit because we love each other too much (no no that's not possible...)! i ALWAYS force my freezing toes under his legs, i ALWAYS steal all of the covers, and I definitely wake him up out of selfishness when I want to cuddle. =]

Lauren said...

YAY! ILIVIA!

Lauren said...

Ok so in my excitement I just realised I commented on the wrong post! haha! xx

Lindsey said...

We sleep that way, too. We call it butt-kissing. =]